At what age in North Carolina can a child decide what parent to live with

In North Carolina, the law doesn’t set an age when a child can choose which parent they want to live with. Judges can consider a child’s preference but do not have to. The older and more mature the child, the more weight the judge can give their wishes.

However, North Carolina child custody cases can quickly become complicated. Without the help of an experienced attorney, you may not know your legal rights and how your child can express their preferences before a judge.

At The Law Offices of John Drew Warlick, P.A., we want to help you understand what factors influence your child custody case and whether your child’s opinions can sway a judge on which parent they want to live with.

Why Can’t the Child Decide Where They Want to Live?

Children have opinions. Ask a child what they want for dinner, and you will likely hear answers like candy, French fries, and ice cream. Although a child may be old enough to express their wishes clearly, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are mature enough to understand the consequences of their choices.

For example, one parent may let a child neglect their studies and play games all day. A child might prefer to live with the “fun” parent instead of the parent who makes them do homework.

A child cannot decide which parent they want to live with on their own. Instead, North Carolina law follows the best interest of the child standard. When a judge determines child custody, they must review all the facts and base their decision on what is in the child’s best interest – even when the child’s best interests don’t necessarily align with the child’s wants.

What Factors Could Affect the Judge’s Decision on Where the Child Can Live?

Determining a child custody arrangement can be challenging. Numerous factors can impact a judge’s decision on where a child should live to ensure the child’s best interests are met and maintained. A judge must consider how living arrangements affect a child’s physical safety, emotional health and well-being, social development, and morality.

The best interest of the child standard allows a judge to consider the following:

• Each parent’s relationship with the child
• Each parent’s ability to provide a safe and stable home environment
• Each parent’s age and physical and mental health
• The child’s current ties to friends, family, school, and community
• The willingness of each parent to foster a good relationship between the child and other parent
• The wishes of the child (when applicable)
• Each parent’s history of alcohol or substance abuse
• Each parent’s history of domestic violence
• Each parent’s history of child neglect or parental misconduct

North Carolina courts want to ensure that children have every opportunity to build lasting relationships with their parents in a safe and stable environment.

Can the Judge Refuse the Child’s Preference on Who They Want to Live With?

While a judge can consider a mature child’s preference, they must also consider other factors to determine what living arrangement suits the child’s best interest. For example, a child may prefer to live with their mother. However, suppose the mother has a history of neglect or cannot provide a stable living situation for the child. In that case, a judge can decide it would harm the child’s physical and mental development to remain in the mother’s household. In other words, a North Carolina judge is not bound to determine custody arrangements based only on a child’s wishes.

Courts are also wary of making custody arrangements based on a child’s word because it can lead to parental alienation. Some parents use their child like a pawn in the custody battle “game.” Parents can promise treats, presents, and other incentives to persuade them to tell a judge they want to live with one parent over the other. Some parents may even threaten a child if they don’t tell a judge they want to live with them over the other parent.

In What Cases May a Judge Consider the Child’s Preferences?

There is no magic age where a child becomes old and wise enough to make their own decisions while fully understanding the importance of their decisions. Children grow and mature at different stages. Typically, a judge gives more weight to a child’s preferences when they are mature enough to thoughtfully express their opinion and show they understand their decision’s consequences. The older the child, the more weight a judge will give to address their wishes and preferences. A 15-year-old can better communicate and understand their preferences than a four-year-old who has yet to learn that actions have consequences. However, all cases are unique, and a judge can decide whether a child is wise enough to understand their choices.

How Can a Child Custody Lawyer Help?

Unfortunately, North Carolina child custody cases are not black and white. Cases are more complex than a child expressing their preference and a judge taking that preference at face value. You need an experienced child custody lawyer to help you build a solid case demonstrating why living with you offers your child the best opportunity for a happy, fulfilling, and safe living arrangement.

We advocate for you and your child at The Law Offices of John Drew Warlick, P.A. We know divorce is never easy. Our legal team is committed to helping you navigate this challenging time and arrive at a custody agreement that puts your child’s needs first.

Contact a North Carolina Family Law Attorney

Are you concerned about the direction of your child custody case? Talk to a skilled North Carolina family law attorney with The Law Offices of John Drew Warlick, P.A. Our team can review your situation and help build a case that offers you and your child the best outcome for your family.

Don’t spend another minute worrying. Call our North Carolina office today for a free case evaluation.

Visit Our North Carolina Family Law Law Offices