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How to win sole custody in North Carolina

Published September 19, 2023 by The Law Offices of John Drew Warlick, P.A.
How to win sole custody in North Carolina

North Carolina courts must consider the child’s best interests when deciding which parent to award custody to. You will need to present considerable evidence in the form of documentation and witnesses at hearings to establish why having sole custody of your child is best for them.

What Is the Difference Between Legal Custody and Physical Custody?

Many people use the term custody to mean the parent a child lives with. However, that arrangement is actually physical custody, which is only half of the custodial equation. The other half is legal custody, which refers to a parent’s right to make decisions concerning a child’s current and future well-being. That might include:

  • The medical care they receive
  • The cultural and religious traditions they observe
  • What school they attend
  • Which extracurricular activities they pursue

Both parents can share physical and legal custody. For example, joint physical custody would involve a child living with one parent and then the other. But a parent who does not have joint physical custody might still have a right to joint legal custody. While their child does not live with them, they still have a say in how the child is raised.

What Is Sole Custody?

Sole custody refers to a parent who is the only one with the right of custody. While a parent could have sole physical custody but share legal custody, the term is most commonly used to describe a parent with exclusive rights to live with and make decisions for their child.

Mother hugging her sad girl to comfort her

Why Would a Judge Grant Sole Custody?

In North Carolina, the guiding principle in custody cases is the best interest of the child. The courts will not award sole custody lightly. That said, there are several reasons why a judge might deem it necessary to grant sole custody to one parent over another:

  • An unsafe parent – The safety of the child is critical. Instances of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse towards the child by one parent would be compelling reasons for the court to limit or deny custody or visitation rights to the offending parent. Or if one parent has a history of drug abuse, criminal activity, or any other behavior threatening the child’s well-being, a judge may decide that sole custody is best.
  • An unfit parent – If one parent is deemed absent or unfit due to severe mental illness, prolonged incarceration, or a history of neglect, the court would consider awarding sole custody to the other parent. Such circumstances imply that the parent might not be capable of providing a stable environment or making sound decisions regarding the child’s welfare.
  • An uncooperative parent – Another reason could be one parent’s consistent unwillingness or inability to co-parent effectively. Evidence may suggest that one parent constantly undermines the other, refuses to communicate, or deliberately creates conflict. In that case, a judge may determine that it’s healthier for the child to be under the sole custody of the more cooperative parent.

How Do I File for Sole Custody in North Carolina?

You or your attorney can request sole custody of your child by filing a complaint. Your child must have lived in North Carolina for at least six months for the state to have jurisdiction in your case. Otherwise, you will likely have to return to the state that heard your last custody matter – provided one of the parents still lives there. You can file your complaint with the family court in the county where your child lives or is physically present or where you reside.

Once you have filed your complaint with the appropriate court, you must have the complaint and a summons served on the child’s other parent. This may be done by a sheriff or through certified mail. A judge cannot rule on your case until the child’s other parent has been served.

Before your case goes to a hearing, the judge will likely send you and the child’s other parent to the Custody Mediation Program. If you and the other parent cannot agree on custody and visitation, then either of you may request that a judge hear your case and render a decision.

Can a North Carolina Judge Consider a Child’s Testimony When Deciding a Sole Custody Case?

A judge in North Carolina will consider a child’s testimony about specific events to better weigh the evidence presented in a hearing. They might also consider a child’s preference on custody if the child has reached “the age of discretion” – meaning an appropriate maturity to understand the situation’s seriousness and have good judgment. State law does not specify this age more explicitly. But the older a child is, the more likely a judge will be to consider their testimony.

What Factors Can Improve My Chances of Winning a Child Custody Case?

While there is no playbook to follow which guarantees that you will win sole custody of your child, there are a few things you can do to improve your chance of success. These include the following:

  • Spend time with your child and schedule your life and obligations around them.
  • Get involved in your child’s school, hobbies, extracurricular groups, and other interests.
  • Document the amount of time the other parent spends with your child and any events they miss.
  • Refrain from discouraging the child’s relationship with their other parent or turning them against the parent.
  • Consult with a child custody lawyer in North Carolina as early in your case as possible.

Can a North Carolina Family Law Attorney Help with My Case?

While you could try to file your complaint, serve the complaint and summons on the other party, and represent yourself at hearings, you should strongly consider working with an experienced child custody lawyer instead. They understand the legal system, know how to complete these steps as quickly and effectively as possible, can protect your parental rights, and will advocate for your and your child’s best interests throughout the process. Crucially, they also understand the potential pitfalls that might cost you sole custody of your child – and how to avoid them.

Contact a North Carolina Family Law Attorney

Are you concerned about the fitness of your child’s other parent? Are you interested in seeking sole custody of your child? Then let The Law Offices of John Drew Warlick, P.A. help. Our three generations of lawyers understand the high stakes in these situations, and we are dedicated advocates for our state’s children. Contact us today to speak with a North Carolina family law attorney about your situation during a confidential consultation.

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